Love is good! And having the love for your partner is the greatest thing on Earth.
Dating someone, you will always have a best friend, excellent listener, life supporter, admirer, sex partner and much more.
However, it doesn’t always work like that. People with their own insecurities jump into wrong relationships or due to their childhood traumas start mistreating their date.
If you don’t want this to happen to you, you better watch out for these top addictions in a relationship.
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Seeing Your Partner As a Savior
Entering a relationship and thinking that it will help you to solve vital problems, is a perfect ground for addictions.
There’s a considerable stereotype circulating people’s minds that all of us are incomplete without our so-called “second halves.” Singles jump into the first person they like, literally, trying to get a burden of problems off their chest and put it on a partner.
Therefore, we end up having hundreds of couples where at least one partner is mentally dependent on another. And if they break up (oh guys, it happens), the dependent one will struggle to survive on his/her own. But if they keep dating, the “savior”-partner will be blamed for all the failures, failed expectations and missed opportunities of the dependent partner.
So, ladies and gentlemen, stop seeking your “second half.” Before you start dating someone, make sure you feel complete, you know what to do with your life, how to solve your own problems and deal with snakes in your own head. Nobody’s there to do that for you, even your beloved one.
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Changing The Partner
It is another popular addiction between two of the dates. Recall “Pygmalion” by Bernard Shaw? That’s how it usually happens in a relationship, but the metamorphosis is generally triggered by one of the discontented partners.
The last one probably is not aware of what he/she wants in life and tries to get it from a “weaker” partner. So here are two ways: the partner, who is “ought to” change, persists it (thus, more quarrels occur) or he/she does change.
But very often the “superior” partner remains dissatisfied as he/she appears to be with a different person, not with the one who she/he started dating, so the dissatisfaction will only grow. It’s just a vicious circle.
The changes in the relationship may vary – from appearance to habits and even way of thinking. But what all of you need to remember is that you have to love your partners the way they are. Otherwise, it is not a healthy relationship.
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This is the worst. Violence can be either verbal (mental) or physical (including sexual). One of the partners may will the superiority due to status, wealth and even height. Among abusers are usually former school bullies, or people, who suffered from parental violence.
It is an addiction for both of partners. For the abuser, it is based on power, fueled by the fear of the other one. For the abused one, this relationship is a hope to change the negative characters of the abuser and a fear of leaving him/her due to abuser’s potential hazardous actions.
The only advice to people in such a relationship is to leave the abuser in any possible way, making sure they get support and protection from other people.